Vervain Tea
by Albion19
Summary: Bonnie and Stefan share some non platonic dreams...Mature rated and angsty.
1. Chapter 1

The garden is illuminated by storm lanterns and candle light flickers over the soft grass that she walks in. It's Bonnie's garden now, Grams had left the house and all her belongings to her. The vervain grows tall, much taller then it should. Her hand reaches out to pick a flower, rubbing it between her fingers before she places it in her mouth. It's very bitter and she almost spits it out but something stops her. She had to do this. She eats more as she casts a spell around her garden, the words coming out her mouth very old but new to her ears.

As she chants the vervain spreads, creating an environ around her house, keeping her safe from everything outside. Nothing could harm her now. Pleased with her work she puffs out the candles and she's plunged into darkness. That smell, what is it? She suddenly feels frightened of the dark, trapped and if she takes a step the ground will suck her in.

Hands touch her shoulders, someone breathes into her hair.

"Close your eyes and let me in...trust me."

Bonnie spins around but finds herself alone. The vervain is stretching up to the sky and through some of the gaps in the foliage she can see movement. "Stefan?"

"Let me in, please?"

"I can't, I can't." The ground beneath her gives way a little and her feet sink. "Oh my god!" Bonnie threads her fingers through the vervain and it hurts. Suddenly he appears through a small gap, his eyes black and teeth sharp. Bonnie gasps and throws herself back but nothing catches her.

She falls and falls and waits for an impact that never comes.

* * *

She does not go back to sleep again that night and meets the morning with bleary eyes. Her Grams had always told her, even as a kid, that dreams should never be dismissed, there's always something you can take from them. She's not here any longer to give Bonnie advice but she knows what the blatant message of this one is.

_You're a wise woman, don't be a stick in the mud. A witch never forgets when she's been done a solid._

_How can I trust him now? I threatened to kill him..._

_

* * *

_

They do not speak as much any more, just giving each other cursory nods when they pass in the hall or on the street. He had tried to approach her a few times but her warning still rings in his ears. She's not the same Bonnie that had glowed with pride as they had spoken about Salem and the witches there.

But he hopes that she's still in there somewhere because the small trust that had started to grow between them had felt so important. Now it seems almost gone and he's left with a horrible sense of foreboding. It wasn't right but he didn't know what to do to fix it.

The dreams that he experiences just make the feeling even more dire.

* * *

She's back in the garden, clutching for dear life at the vervain that keeps her at once prisoner and safe. Stefan prowls on the other side, trying to find a way in but she knows it's useless. He can only come in if invited.

"Why are you doing this?"

"I can take care of myself..." she hedges around gingerly, trying to find a bigger opening, the ground as fragile as sugar glass. Finally she finds one but he stands there, watching her sadly. His face is terrible and she looks down, concentrating.

"Don't be afraid of me, you know I don't mean you any harm...you trusted me once."

"And look where that got me: alone. No, I won't put myself in that position again." She comes to where he is and tries to move across. She was going in circles, tracing her cage.

"You blame me for her death?"

"Yes, at first...but really it was me, I made her do it because of you and Elena, I didn't want you to get hurt...I was alone but none of you really cared, no one came for me, I had to go to her."

"I'm sorry Bonnie." He reaches out through a gap but all she can feel is ghost like touches. "I'm here now. I saved your life, that's not going to stop, even if you never trust me again."

"You're a vampire."

"And you're a witch...I need you." Bonnie places a foot behind her and feels nothing. If she looks back she'll see nothing. "Bonnie! Give me your hand, quickly!"

She reaches through, eyes closed. She does not feel his hand on hers, he never really touches her until she feels him at her back. He did not pull her through, she did that herself. His arms circles around her and his lips brush her cheek.

Bonnie opens her eyes to her bedroom and an overwhelming sense of peace. The feeling lasts the morning, not that she expected it to. There was something strange about it, what she couldn't out her finger on. When it fades she's left feeling sapped, wanting to be filled again.

* * *

He stares at her in class, puzzled and Elena shoots confused glances at him. Bonnie tries not to notice but when she feels his gaze heavy on her back she turns to confront him in the crowded hall, frowning.

"What?"

"Nothing...I just wanted to say hi."

"Well hi then, bye then." She breezes past and he watches her go. She half expects him to be following her but finds herself alone when she reaches home and she laughs softly to herself, shaking her head.

"Get a grip..."

But that night she dreams of him again, in the garden but safely on the other side of the vervain cage. In his embrace she wants to turn but won't let herself, her eyes closed tight. His lips move to her ear.

"I think we'll have to start again..." He was talking about the vervain, wasn't he? She feels his arms around her waist tighten and he brings them downwards, making her knees bend until they touch the ground. He scrapes against her back and an electric tingle shots up into her belly.

The next part was like flying, wasn't it?

* * *

They next time Bonnie sees him she's eating her lunch. He's with Elena, following her into school. Before she felt cold seeing him, now heat waves through her. She ducks her head down, trying to remain unnoticed but he suddenly turns on his heel and his eyes pin on her. That heat becomes molten. Trying to pack her things away before he can get to her Stefan pats the air.

"Wait, Bonnie." She sits, casting him a cool gaze as he takes a seat opposite. He looks around him in a furtive manner before he reaches across the table and she jerks despite herself. He gives her a confused look which turns sombre. "I'd never hurt you." Bonnie just smiles, a little tight lipped and he exhales in frustration.

"What do you want?"

"I want to ask you something, actually." He clears his throat and looks a little uncomfortable which he was trying to hide. Bonnie narrows her eyes. "Is this something that you want?" He uncurls his fist which lies on the table and Bonnie leans closer. In his palm was a cluster of seeds. She shoots her head up...

"Vervain? How did you know?"

"I heard you were asking around for some." He answers quietly and hides the seeds carefully again. Her grandmother had kept a small stash but Bonnie was now running out. Bonnie realises that she's looking around for anyone watching and suddenly laughs.

Stefan smiles along with her. "What is it?"

"It's like we're dealing in an illicit substance. I feel kinda naughty right now."

"You should because to _some_ it is dangerous...it's good to see you smile again." He tilts his head and she lowers hers, not meeting his eyes. Her smile fades and she looks back up, quizzical.

"You want me to have it? Why?" This was about more then Stefan helping her out. He knew that she could use this against _him_ if she had to.

"Because I trust you and I hope in time you'll be able to do the same... and because I think it's time for it to stop being grown in basements and passing hands in secret."

"But what about Damon?"

Stefan clenches his jaw as he pours the seeds into a small plastic wallet. "We both know that vampires are not a threat to you any more. You can take care of yourself, right?" He smiles saying it, meeting her eye but then his face flinches, like he said something he wasn't meant to. Bonnie leans in close to him and the first inkling of something incredibly embarrassing takes root.

_He knows about the dreams._

Bonnie gathers her things, gets to her feet and, muttering about places she needed to be, makes a hasty escape. Or she would have if he hadn't grabbed her bare arm. Since the dreams had begun Bonnie had never touched Stefan but when his fingers made contact with her skin she was beset with a cascade of sensations. She can smell the grass under them and his body pushing her down, feel his mouth on hers and her own building desire.

The strange sensation is stopped when Stefan pulls his hand away with a gasp. He breathes heavily and takes a step back, the look in his eyes mirroring her own.

"I uh, I better go find Elena."

"Right. I have places and people..." she trails off lamely, watching him walking away hastily. She looks back at the table and sees the packet of seeds lying there. She draws it into her hand before the wind can blow it away.

* * *

They avoid each other for days, which seems to crawl into weeks, and every night she prays that another dream won't happen. But it always does, the newest even more intense then the one before it. She pours through spell books, looking through the pages that as a child she was not allowed to take a peak at and even now it feels like taboo. Sex and magic was a powerful combination and when you add a witch's dreams to that...

"Dreams and a vampire."

Was she sharing her dreams with him? He with her even? The idea was preposterous and she dismisses it. No it was her, she didn't want to face those feelings or admit to them because what was the point? It was just a crush and she wasn't that girl any more.

_But Elena and Damon, they're growing closer each day. Everyone can see it...  
_

Bonnie sighs, pushing that thought away. She pours herself some tea, spooning in some vervain like she now takes it and heads to bed.

* * *

He wakes, grasping for a woman that's not there. He slumps back down, aroused and guilty, looking at the empty pillow beside his. He gets out of bed and looks out at the dark. Every night the dreams come and no relief follows and it was twisting him tighter and tighter. It had been almost two months now. He wanted to speak to her but being in her presence was...dangerous. He had to stop himself from touching her in front of everyone, knows that Elena was growing confused. And, no matter how much he didn't want to notice, there was Elena and his brother... he could see Bonnie was embarrassed but he couldn't take much more.

He needed to see her.

* * *

Fingers dig into the earth, drawing energy from it, feeding it as her own body is penetrated deeply. Thrust hardener into the grass Bonnie bites at his shoulder and then licks his skin. She can taste the lonely years and his kindness.

He kisses her mouth and she opens herself to him, wants him to know the depth of feelings she hides. Not just for him but everything, good and bad. But something is at the window, tapping and Bonnie is drawn away.

She wakes, greatly dissatisfied to be woken at such a time and cursing under her breath gets to her feet. She freezes before she gets to the window, knows what she'll see below. She turns on her heel and makes her way down the dark staircase to the front door. Inhaling a breath and holding it she opens the door.

Stefan stands on the threshold. He's still in the clothes he slept in and bare foot. His chest heaves, like he ran here but Bonnie knows it's not that. She moves close but doesn't step over the doorway.

"Let me in Bonnie." His voice is breathless, earning but she shakes her head.

"I can't."

"Please!"

"What's happening now isn't real, in the morning whatever is happening between us will be broken and all this will just be a bad, humiliating memory."

Stefan shakes his head. "It's not humiliating...but we both need to find a way to - to sort this out. Please let me in or do you want to continue living like this?"

_Yes_

"No..." she whispers it quietly, closing her eyes. "Come inside Stefan." He moves over the threshold, pushing her back with his body and the door closes behind them with a rich thud.


	2. Chapter 2

She turns her back and quickly walks through to the kitchen but he stops her, finally has a chance to lay his hands on her. Bonnie's pulled against his chest gently and his arms move around her. He does nothing but keep her close. Bonnie stays still, not speaking a word until he slowly lets her go and she moves around the kitchen table and he stays where he stands.

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok...lets just sit and figure this out." She pulls up a chair and after a hesitating moment he takes one opposite. A thick length of wood separates them but even so she finds the proximity and his gaze searing.

"Have you cast a spell on me?"

"No! What kind of question is that?" She stares angrily at him and he winces.

"I didn't mean it like that. I thought maybe you did something unintentionally. It's something magical Bonnie."

"I know, I just don't know how...I've read through everything but I can't find anything about this. It only seems to cover witches and humans, not vampires." She feels to pumped full of nervous energy to sit so she stands and opens a cupboard. "I'm thirsty, do you want some tea or coffee?"

"No thank you...so you think me being a vampire has something to do with this?" Bonnie shrugs and lays her mug down on the counter. She has her back turned but she can sense that he's watching her every move. She fills up the kettle with water slowly.

"Your blood should have passed out of my system, right?"

"Yeah, I didn't give you that much so it wouldn't have taken long...you think it's that?"

"I dunno, maybe it's different for witches." She pours the hot water into the cup, adds some milk and honey to take away the sting and steeling herself she turns back to him. He had moved to the chair closer to her and when she tries to move past him he grabs her waist. She stares into his eyes warily, her hair brushing his face gently. Her fingers jam around her cup tightly and the fumes from the vervain bathe her face.

"Bonnie..." the teaspoon in the cup tinkles against the rim as he takes it from her hand and sets it down on the table. Her hands grip at his shoulders and she manages to shake her head in warning.

"Nothing is going to happen...," she lowers her face to his, lips parting she whispers, "I can hurt you."

"If that's what you need to do then do it." His fingers dig into her sides before they begin to draw her down and Bonnie rests her knee between his legs to balance herself. She takes his face in her hands and after a confirming nod by Stefan she focuses on that place in his mind and makes it scream silently.

He yells in pain and the chair is knocked out from beneath him as he stumbles to his feet. Bonnie dances away, panting as he keels over, a hand clutching his head. Hearing him whimper she comes closer and stops the pain immediately.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She touches his hair and he lifts his head. It only last for a second but black eyes peer at her before they clear to green. Bonnie rubs her hand up and down his arm soothingly as he straightens. "Are you all right?" She didn't ask if it worked because she knows it hasn't. She lets her compassion move her closer and he leans down, threads his hands through her hair and kisses her.

Backed against the sink their dreams play out in real time. Bonnie grabs tufts of his hair, pulling it as she opens her mouth against his, tasting him. Just as in the dreams she's besieged with his emotions and they feed her own, intensifying them. His hands slide down her hips and he bends down slightly to hitch her up her nightgown. Bonnie pushes her body harder against his, feels his arousal against her belly and the kiss grows more ferocious. He growls into her mouth and with an enormous amount of self control pushes her away forcefully.

She hits the wall, stunned. "Stefan..."

"I can't do this, we can't. I shouldn't have come." He paces on the other side of the table, throwing her looks of longing and torment. It was Elena he was thinking of, worrying about.

_Not me..._Bonnie gathers herself together, pushes her emotions into a small bundle and rises her chin up. "I'll figure this out Stefan...I'll see you at school tomorrow."

"Bonnie -"

"Please, just go...I have the power to uninvite you if I have to."

He looks down sadly, nodding. "That won't be necessary." He walks to the back door, gaze lingering before he's simply gone, the door banging open. Bonnie releases a pent up breath and sits at the table. The afterglow of his touch is peppered all over her skin and she sucks at her bottom lip as she reaches over for her tea. It's cold and a few tiny pieces of vervain float on the surface. She stares at them, a thousand miles away before she suddenly laughs and slaps a hand over her mouth. She stares with amazement into the cup.

"Shit...I'm an idiot." She flings the liquid down the sink, thankful that her grams wasn't here to see her make such a rookie mistake. But her eyes prick and burn as she closes the back door, certain he wouldn't return.

* * *

The dream fades but not completely. They mix and swirl with other nightscapes, the flashes of vervain and entwined bodies lasting moments.

But it never truly leaves her. As she grows into her power, gathers more knowledge about the nature of dreams she sees that what past between her and Stefan was not just her - and possibly his - desires fed by the vervain.

It was a foretelling.

* * *

She stares mutely, an expression that he can't abide but one she wears so often now. But at least she was talking to him. After that night in the kitchen he had kept his distance, so nervous about what he would do if he crossed paths with her in public. But his fears were unfounded, things were back to normal. Almost.

"I think you should take this back." Bonnie stands at the threshold of his home, offering him the packet of vervain seeds that he had given her. Seems an age ago.

"What? Why?" He looks behind furtively before gesturing towards the grounds. Bonnie walks out onto the grass, careful to keep some distance.

"I have my reasons." She answers cryptically and he pushes down a dart of frustration. The things she had been through had aged her so much, made her hard.

"Which are?" She doesn't answer, just regards him with a heavy air of indifference. He hated it. Stefan lowers his voice and comes closer. "Is it about the dreams?"

Bonnie glances down, fiddles with the hem of her coat. "You don't have them any more, do you?"

"Not like before. Bonnie we never really talked afterwards and I know that was partly down to me but - but I just didn't want anyone to get hurt."

"It's ok, there's nothing to discuss. It was nothing..." His face flashes with hurt and she softens tellingly, almost touches his arm before stopping. "I - I'm just not ready. Maybe one day...I don't hate you Stefan, you know that right?"

He nods, not a little relieved. "I'm glad to hear it." A silence stretches, both smiling awkwardly until Bonnie becomes aware of the seeds in her hand. She looks down and back up thoughtfully.

"This had a part in the dreams. The vervain, I drink it and it...amplified certain sensations. My feelings." She tries and fails to hide her humiliation. It was eating her from the inside. Stefan suddenly cups her cheek and she freezes, breath trapped in her throat.

"Don't be ashamed. I - I don't want you to think that you were forcing your feelings onto me. They were _all_ my own." He stares intensely into her eyes until realisation dawns there. He draws his touch away and Bonnie gazes hard and long at him until she looks away. He was telling the truth, he had no reason to lie to her about this.

"I don't know what to say...please just take this, you know it was difficult for me to even come here." She pushes the seeds into his hand which he takes, confused.

"Why are you so eager to give it back?"

"To avoid temptation." She turns on her heel, prepared to leave it there. Stefan follows, pulling her back.

"What do you mean?"

Bonnie sighs in defeat, shaking her head. "I can dream the future and I know how to recognise them. That's our future." She points at the vervain. "It might be tomorrow or years from now but if I don't plant it then it won't happen."

Reeling, he stares open mouthed at the seeds. He remembers vividly how tall they grew and the smell of it crushed beneath them, the taste of it on her tongue. He's so caught up in this revelation that he doesn't realise he now stands alone. He thinks about going after her, everything in him is telling him to but instead he pockets the packet and walks through the town until the sun begins to sink, thinking of all the connections he had formed in his long life.

In darkness he makes up his mind.

* * *

The envelope sits neatly on her kitchen table, resting against the toast rack. She doesn't need to open it to know who it's from or what it contains.

She presses the seeds through the paper where they leave an impression on her skin.


End file.
